Using Self-Disclosing or Self-Involving Counselor Statements
when Treating Substance Use Disorders
Your comment about the young gentleman who seems to have opened up to you when learning that you have “walked the walk” is not uncommon. The challenge for you as a professional contemplating the use of this type of disclosure, however, is to be sure you know: (1) why you are self-disclosing and to what purpose, and (2) realize that for self-disclosure to be useful, it must be employed to benefit the client and not the counselor. This is why it is generally a good idea to self-disclose “later” rather than “sooner” in the counseling relationship, perhaps as the response to a client’s inquiry if you are in recovery after having watched you and come to suspect you may be by your actions rather than to simply “put it out there,” wearing it like a badge of honor. As the old saying goes, let your action do the speaking for you. When you “act like” a recovering person, people will notice, and one “acts like” a recovering person by doing what he or she needs to do to to stay clean and sober “one day at a time." As the slogan in the program suggests, just “do the next right thing.”
Remember from our classes about the difference between self-involving and self-disclosing statements a counselor can make. Both may be able to convey a personal connection and allow the client to relate more easily to the counselor. The self-disclosing statement, however, necessitates having to place the focus on you in order to enter the client’s space and demonstrate the ability to connect. The self-involving statement, however, maintains the focus on the client and still allows the counselor to meet the client on a personal level and demonstrate the ability to empathize. A self-disclosing statement is something like, “I know what you mean because in my early recovery I felt alone and afraid most of the time too” notice all the “I” statements...the focus is on the counselor and not the client.
The self-involving statement goes, “You really seem to be struggling with the fear that feeling isolated and alone tends to create - (this is empathic reflection as you learned in class). The fact that you are willing to share this with me, in our session, and accept my suggestion to take it to group really shows the progress you have made in your recovery. 6-weeks ago, you would have just said ‘screw it’ and gotten high; today, you shared it with me and are ready to work on it; I am proud of you” - (this is the self-involving part of the statement).
Remember, “you do best what you do most.” The more you do what you learned in school and continue to learn on the job and in supervision, the better you will become at doing it.
You are a better counselor today, "student's name," than you were yesterday; you are nowhere near the counselor today you will become tomorrow :)
Self-disclosure is easy and seem like an effective way to help someone feel comfortable and trusting; but it can be a double-edged sword. Perhaps better to engage the client by entering her or his experience, as a parent might do with a young child, than by expecting she/he enter yours.
What do you think?
Dr. Robert
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