A Counselor’s Holiday Message

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I saw an interesting quote today. It struck me as particularly apropos to the holiday season…Christmas, New Year, Kwanza, Hanukkah... Although apparently religious at first glance, albeit ecumenical, I suspect, universal nonetheless;

An important part of praying,

Is a willingness to be part of the answer.

When discussing spirituality in counseling, especially counseling individuals with substance use disorders, I tell my students that I believe there is more to spirituality than just its theological interpretation. I suggest that it may be as much a world-view that, like a Venn Diagram, includes the theological, sectarian meaning so many associate with the term, yet still leaves room for the more secular constructs of harmony and connectedness.

This understanding of connectedness is similar to the Native American concept of harmony and the belief that all things in this existence are interconnected; that all that exists is the product of the creator and as such, all imbued with a spirit that must be respected  in order for me to be respected. It is in the recognition of a thing’s spirit that we acknowledge its significance and ultimate importance to our own well being—it is acknowledgement of a “thing’s” essence and my understanding of its meaning that gives us significance. This recognition then becomes, in and of itself, a prayer when we interpret “prayer” to be an appeal, a plea, a request, a desire, a wish, or a hope—all synonyms proffered courtesy of MS Word J This prayer may be directed to a “supreme being,” but then again it can just as easily be directed to a “human being,” that is, another human in the act of becoming or secular group, like AA. This is, of course, one of the ways AA explains the spiritual aspect of the suggested program of recovery to new comers who are concerned about if not put-off by the seemingly sectarian nature of the 12-steps.

The Navajo—and I apologize if I cite the incorrect Native American tribe—have a saying:

Beauty to the right of me,

Beauty to the left of me;

Beauty before me,

Beauty behind me;

Beauty above me,

Beauty below me;

I am on the pollen path.

This is, to me, similar to what my grandfather with his 8^th grade formal education and DHW (doctor of hard work) in common sense used to tell me. “Robert,” he would say, “no matter where you go, there you are.” I now know that was not an original quote of his, but it was one of the many things pop taught me that shaped me as a boy and influenced the adult I would become; he taught me that no matter where I stand, at any given time, I am where I need to be at that time to make a difference, both in my life and in the life of another…directly, meaning today, and indirectly, meaning tomorrow and through others via their actions.

Through the years, I have come to realize that all things exist for a reason and that with the exception of us sentient human beings, that reason…that purpose…is clear and is pursued relentlessly from birth through death by all creation. We human beings also have the same purpose but, I believe, have been placed on this earth to consciously affect that purpose intentionally, namely, to assist in making this world…this place where we coexist…just a little bit better for our having been here.

To listen to the 6 O'clock news or access one’s usual source of information, however, is to get a daily dose of doubt regarding this potential to affect the world in a positive way. Yet there is “beauty to the right of me, beauty to the left of me…” if I will just look for it…more to the point, I just expect to see it.

So if praying is not just speaking with a higher power, but includes voicing an appeal or making a plea or proffering  a request or expressing a desire, or producing a wish, or cultivating a hope, then expecting a result may well necessitate being prepared to become part of the answer.

Gandhi said, We must be the change we wish to see in the world. AA says, Just do the next right thing.

Apropos to this, I share with my students another of my grandfather’s lessons, albeit updated with my own personal homage to my journey through the 60s:

Change is possible;

Change is possible for me.

Change is possible for me right now;

Change is possible for me…

… right now…

…with a little help from my friends.

At this festive holiday time of the year I wish you and all those important to you peace, good health, and faith, faith in the belief that change is possible through prayer in all its many and varied forms.

Dr. Robert