Rain in My Heart: Understanding the Affects of Alcoholism

Shortly after I started to work in the addictions field in January of 1974, a colleague in social services, what was then called the "welfare department," suggested that I shadow him on house calls as he would visit his case load. He introduced me to 4 alcoholic gentlemen whom I befriended...his clients. They all lived in what used to be called a “flop house,” up over a paint store on North Union St. in Olean, NY. Each had one room, which consisted of a bed, a table, a hot plate, and a chair; there was a communal bath on the floor. There was exposed wiring in the halls and rooms, a single light bulb hanging on a wire from the ceiling, and these gentlemen would cook on and heat the room with the hot plate - NOTE: this was rural Western NY where it was not uncommon for the temperature in the winter to reach –30’ F...why the building never burned down was beyond me.

These gentlemen were all acquaintances and would, on occasion, drink together. They generally drank muscatel (a fortified wine), usually 3 to 4 bottles a day each, and as many as 8 (each) on a bender when they had the money. One shared his room from time to time with an alcoholic woman, but unfortunately I never got to know her or her story very well. In the winter I would visit with them in their rooms...in the warmer weather I would visit them as the drank in the tall grass by the railroad tracks as they sat on the switch box for the Erie Lackawanna Railroad in a “bottle gang.” I did not know it at the time, but I was conducting ethnographic research. The gentlemen came to trust me and accepted me as I would listen to their stories about their “early days” of drinking and try to understand the etiology of their alcoholism. They would always pass the bottle to me, inviting me to drink with them as the bottle made its rounds in the group...I always passed the bottle along w/o imbibing. I remember being floored by their candor as every one of these gentlemen readily admitted that he was an alcoholic and when I would proffer help, that he had no desire to quit. It was as if they had resigned themselves to the fact that life had passed them by and there was no hope for any of them...life would just run its course and they would eventually die of their alcoholism.

I can remember calling on them on occasion when they were in much the same shape as the alcoholic individuals in the BBC documentary, “Rain in My Heart,” which is available online along with commentary (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/newsnight/7140605.stm)...eyes yellow with jaundice, unable to leave their beds, hardly eating and only drinking.

The first gentleman to expire due to his alcoholism died, if I remember correctly almost 35 years later, from massive organ failure, a complication of his long drinking history; he was in his 30s. The 2nd was stomped and beaten so severely by the 3rd, over a bottle of wine, that he was admitted to hospital and never left...he died of the beating. I can remember visiting him in the hospital and watching as he smoked cigarettes through the tracheotomy tube in his throat...the first time I ever saw that...yet another addiction he had--yes, patients were permitted to smoke in their rooms 35 years ago. The gentleman who put "Lavern" there was convicted of manslaughter and sentenced to Attica, where he died before completing his sentence—a side bar story is “Don’s” stories about making alcohol in prison when previously incarcerated...he would ferment peach juice he would get by bartering with trustees working in the kitchen where large cans of peaches would be used to serve inmates. The recipe for the "prison hooch" was peach juice, water, and bread (for yeast), and place the mix behind the dryers in the laundry to ferment.

The 4th gentleman, “Francis” had peripheral neuropathy so advanced that he could not walk...but, believe it or not, he could ride a bike! It was quite amazing to watch "Francis" ride all over town, but when he would stop his bike, he could hardly move. When he was the only one of the group left, he went on a bender one time and found himself in a sever alcohol-induced crisis. I managed to play a role in getting him admitted to a local hospital to be detoxed—keep in mind that in 1975 in Olean, NY there were no such thing as a detox unit. Individuals had to be "dried out" in a med-surge ward under a general med diagnosis in what was affectionately known as “scatter bed detox”—and while he was being dried out I arranged for him to go to the Alcohol Rehab Unit at Gowanda State Hospital, south of Buffalo NY. Interestingly, he linked up with some other patients, got involved in AA and managed to stay sober after discharge—although some would have argued he was little more than “dry.”

These 4 gentleman, plus the 100s of AA meeting I attended and about 4 or 5 other specific “late stage” or “sever alcoholics” as they were referred to in the BBC documentary, "Rain in My Heart," were clients I recall vividly. These individuals thought me as much about alcoholism as any book, workshop, or training program I ever attended. What moved me most about the BBC documentary was that “I knew these people” and I had worked with each of the 4 individuals whose stories were chronicled. Although the documentary was made in Kent, England in the UK, I had nonetheless known each of these individuals and had dealt with the same issues as were documented in the film. If anything, the film falls short of portraying the extent of devastation that can be caused by late stage alcoholism because you can only see and hear what was going on...you could not smell, taste, or touch the consequences of alcoholism as it would permeate the very environment in which they were living and drinking and, unfortunately, dying.

The entire documentary, about 90+ minutes, can be viewed on YouTube in 10 installment. The first can be found at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NP0InrPZpjg From there, just click on links to #2, 3, etc. NOTE: This is NOT an easy film to watch, but it is “spot on” in its portrayal of alcoholism and its impact on late stage alcoholic individuals and their families.

Robert