Ice Fishing

My grandfather used to tell me, "Robert, you've got to cut a hole in the ice before you can catch any fish." This was one of his folksy ways of instructing me in the need to prepare for a job in order to increase the likelihood of success. It seems the older I get and the more experience I glean as a counselor, the more I value the wisdom of this mentor with a DHW...that's, "Dr. of Hard Work." Pop seemed to be prepping me for the work I would find myself doing decades later with 18 - 22 year old students, some of whom are mandated for an alcohol or other drug assessment.

Quite by accident I found myself some years ago with 120 coffee mugs hanging on the wall of my office; they are still there today. These mementos of individual or family excursions through the years found their way to my wall when there was no more room on the book shelves to display such curios. As the number grew from a few oddities to an unmistakable collection, students would often gaze about my office when entering. A few years ago a student quipped, "Like coffee, eh doc?" to which I spontaneously responded, "Pick one."

The student pointed to a mug, quite at random, and I told her the story that accompanied that particular piece of paraphernalia used to administer my preferred drug of choice. Admittedly, the stories are not very exciting, PG rated at best--remember that many were collected while on family vacations :) However, the fact that the story was shared seemed to open a portal to conversation that became a wonderful segue to the business that brought the student to my office in the first place.

Through the years, I have used this technique whenever a student would comment on the mugs - I never force the issue. One of my greatest compliments as a counselor came from one student a couple years ago who got up to leave a session and commented, looking around an office with a "curio shop" decor, "you know doc, your office looks a lot like Robin Williams' in Good Will Hunting." As the Existential counselor I am, I have come to treasure that simple statement, one I chose to accept as a compliment.

I share this by way of inviting readers to think about strategies discovered over the years that have provided useful segues to approaching resistant, shy, closed, or even angry clients. I look forward to any responses as I am always looking to add to my "bag of tricks." I also believe that these "tricks" can be useful pedagogical tools to employ when teaching, affording students the opportunity to recognize the importance of being an affective person while at the same time striving to be an effective teacher or counselor. What do you think? Email me at: chapman.phd@gmail.com and I will post ideas and suggestions in a subsequent blog entry.

Robert