Understanding Co-Dependency Using Online Video

I respect the fact that the term “co-dependent” is at least troublesome for some who see it as just so much jargon and difficult to operationally define, but it is term to which we must nonetheless introduce our students—and a construct we best prepare them to address—if they are to work effectively in the addictions field. We cannot prepare our students to work with addictions without providing them with at least some understanding of and preparation for working with the families of addicted individuals and in particular, those “chief enablers” who are so often referred to as being “co-dependent.”

To pursue addressing these issues with my students, I have always been hard pressed to explain “co-dependence” and “primary/chief enabler” in a clinical manner. Historically, I have found the work of Virginia Satir (“roles” in dysfunctional, or as I like to call them, chaotic families) and Salvitore Minuchin (regarding “boundaries”) to be most useful, I have always thought, however, as though I did not quite clear the bar when trying to “inform” my students about the dynamics of the relationship that exists between the addicted member of a significant relationship and his/her oft perceived manipulated if not “used” significant other. I have tried using classic Disney characters to both demonstrate the dynamic between aggressive males and “their women”—re-watch “Beauty and the Beast” (see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byaMd_PNyIY for YouTube clip on Disney’s impact on gender values/roles...in particular, from the 3-min point to end) and see what conclusion you draw as to what Disney is telling young woman...ney, “little girls”...about the role they should play when encountering controlling, demanding, and brutish men. Likewise I have used “The Simpsons” as the virtual personification of the addicted family with Marge as the stereotypical chief enabler. These have worked well and the clips serve to entertain students and hold their interest as well a proffer a somewhat better understanding of the family dynamics to which I am attempting to sensitize them. Again...progress is made, but I nonetheless do not believe that I clear the intended bar.

At the graduate level, practica and internships can provide the opportunity to observe these family dynamic “in vivo” and process them under supervision. For undergrads this experience is a bit more elusive, that is until I discovered a brace of videos on YouTube that present the opportunity to demonstrate this dynamic in such a way that students can experience a visceral reaction to what they are watching yet because the film does NOT involve addiction-affected relationships, this seems to free up discussion as I suspect that 20 to 25% of my students come from chaotic families and therefore have a difficult time openly discussing this topic because of their own unaddressed issues.

The videos are actual 2 parts of a short film, each part being approximately 10-min, entitled, “The Man on the Back.” Part I can be found at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0m9iu6O3dg&feature=related and Part II at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yDONtxVLLc&feature=related This film takes place in Iceland and the actors speak Icelandic with English subtitles, but surprisingly, this does not detract from the impact it has on students, at least my students seemed to enthusiastically respond to the film. The discussion of each part (paused the film periodically to discuss the changing dynamic) and the issues they bring to the surface regarding “how” dysfunctional/toxic relationships start and, more to the point, how they are/can be continued, often over extended periods in spite of escalating abuse, are most encouraging and I will continue to use these “visual aids” regarding this topic in the future.

Not knowing how long the videos will remain at these URLs, I downloaded both and saved to my hard drive so that I could ensure future use. In invite you to consider this film and correspond with me (rchapman@drexel.edu) as I am interested in your thoughts and more to the point, your ideas on how you might use the film in your classes.

Best regards,
Robert