Along with April Fool’s Day, and Tax Day, few of us think of April without recalling the adage, that April showers bring May flowers. We relate to this saying when we experience April’s rain and then enjoy the beauty of May. But there is a deeper, more significant meaning to this traditional homage to spring…that is, no problem exists without its gift inside.
No matter where we are in our life's path, obstacles always have the potential to shake our self-assurance or, even worse, damage our self-worth. For individuals with duties such as caregiving, educating, managing, or any position that involves assisting people facing difficulties in the modern world, uncertainty about their impact is a common concern. Even for seasoned professionals, the key is to avoid allowing a preoccupation with issues to diminish the significance of showing empathy towards those who are going through them.
My grandfather always used to emphasize the importance of continuous learning and growth. He would say that while we may know what we have been taught, there will always be more to learn and discover. As a young adolescent, I may not have fully grasped the depth of Pop’s words, but they have resonated with me throughout my entire professional journey. Even with five decades in my field, I never reached a point where I felt I had mastered all there was to know in my field let alone life. This realization pushed me to strive for excellence each day, knowing that there is always room for improvement. When faced with challenges beyond my capabilities, those moments resulted in self-doubt and more than once, flirting with burnout.
Upon reflecting on my grandfather’s wisdom, I came to realize that I had overlooked the most important piece of his advice. Although I may not have been as skilled on a given day as I would eventually become, I was still better than I was the day before. You see, even though one's knowledge and experience may have limitations at any given point in time, as Theodore Roosevelt once said, one must make the most of what they have and employ it where they are. Wisdom seems to develop when we acknowledge the boundaries of our knowledge. It is wisdom that urges us to seek assistance when confronting our limitations. In short, knowledge is knowing a lot of facts and wisdom is knowing which facts matter.
Unfortunately, Americans often balk at seeking assistance, viewing it as a sign of weakness and ignorance or a lack of ability. Paradoxically, it is the humility displayed in asking for help that paves the way for personal growth and development, leading to a brighter future. Thankfully, help exists in many forms. Formal education, finding a mentor, gaining insights from a talented supervisor, or simply engaging in conversations with others who faced similar challenges. One of the most effective ways to learn, as Albert Bandura proposed decades ago, is through observational learning. By observing and learning from experienced individuals one not only gains knowledge but also identifies potential mentors.
There are many ways one can learn from others and emulate their behavior…from reading biographies and autobiographies to watching documentary films, “bio-pics,” and YouTube clips to simply watching those who have mastered a skill you wish to add to your repertoire, or listening to them as they share their stories. YouTube videos are particularly useful in this regard.
Such “observational” learning helps us realize that what we wish we could do, can be done. Once acknowledged, the next step is an act of humility that allows me to recognize that these others have done what I have been unable to do, meaning, indeed, “This skill is doable.” This humbling admission is only possible when we let go of the belief that our previous shortcomings were evidence of being less than perfect and repurpose them as indications of a need for more work on a skill yet to be mastered. Remember, thoughts are not facts; if we want to grow personally, we need to change the way we think about ourselves as a person.
Upon shifting our perspective to view our shortcomings as indicators of necessary steps rather than personal flaws, we became open to learning. Through consistent action, we hone the skills that lead to the confidence and transformation we desire - essentially, practice makes perfect. Embracing the process of learning from others and applying that knowledge not only boosts confidence but also facilitates personal growth. This evolution may eventually pave the way to becoming more skillful and someone that others aspire to emulate as they journey toward their personal growth. To illustrate this point, an allegory shared by a supervisor years ago:
The circus’s arrival in town each spring was heralded by its parade down Main Street, the elephants traveling single file, “trunks on tails, trunks on tails.” This one year there was a baby elephant just recently born and therefore the last elephant in the parade as it left the train yard and proceeded down Main Street to the circus grounds, firmly holding its mother’s tail. Well, as the years passed and the circus continued to visit the town, new baby elephants joined the circus and the little elephant no longer found itself the last in the procession. As is the circle of life, the pachyderm’s mother eventually passed away, leaving our protagonist without a tail to grasp with its trunk and therefore no one to follow. In bewilderment, as she turned to glance behind her in hopes of finding a new leader to follow, she saw a long line of elephants following her…trunks on tails, trunks on tails; you see, she had become the lead elephant.
So, as you think about April’s showers and the flowers they bring in May, remember to consider that the “showers” of our lives can result in untold blooms in May, so never forget to "bloom where you’re planted."
