Spirituality and Counseling: Not So Strange Bedfellows

Addressing spiritual issues when working with clients/patients often sparks passionate discussions among counseling professionals. The driving factor behind one’s position on this issue is frequently one’s definition of spirituality and how one interprets this question. The efficacy of addressing spiritual issues in counseling is also a key consideration, as it relates to the impact on the client/patient experience.

 

Through my involvement in this debate or as an observer over the years, I have learned that reframing spirituality as inclusive, beyond a theistic view of existence and religious dogma, can make it more acceptable as a legitimate objective of counseling services.

This issue came to the forefront when my students would submit essays in my addictions counseling classes. As I read their thoughts on spirituality’s place in the counseling relationship, I often pointed out that addressing it can bring additional depth to the delivery of services. It allows for a more comprehensive understanding of their situation, much like the difference between viewing a two-dimensional photograph of a location and being there, experiencing its three dimensions and all the sensory input that comes with it.

 

Addressing spiritual issues in counseling allows the practitioner to immerse clients in their own experience, providing more than insight and understanding in the process. It highlights the importance of clients empathizing with their own experiences, a skill that counseling professionals are well-versed in and can use to enhance their practice.

 

Considering spirituality as a state of connectedness to life, rather than mere participation, opens up a new dimension in counseling and enriches a client’s growth. Recognizing that one is an active participant in life, not just a passive observer, is akin to being a film director, not just a critic in a darkened theater. This perspective shift can be a powerful tool in helping clients overcome obstacles and grow personally.

 

Although practitioners of counseling and therapy appreciate the importance of helping clients grow by identifying and removing obstacles, there has been some hesitancy, even in Counselor Education, to pursue spiritual issues in counseling services. However, there is an increasing recognition of their importance.

 

My understanding of these issues, particularly from a worldview perspective, has evolved throughout my counseling career. As a younger student driven by a genuine desire to help, my comprehension of the human spirit and its significance in self-actualization was still in its infancy. As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to appreciate that while physical strength and endurance may diminish, wisdom and an understanding of the resilience and importance of the human spirit only deepen. 

 

In my personal experience, the individuals I have encountered, including clients, acquaintances, family members, mentors, and professors, have shown me the importance of a higher power in finding meaning in life and having faith in the inherent dignity of all creation. Whether the “H” in higher or the “P” in power requires capitalization is a legitimate discussion; however, the belief in a power greater than oneself seems to involve more than a simple leap of faith. Assessing a client’s sense of connectedness to this higher power by addressing spirituality is relevant in counseling.

 

So, to address the initial question of why spirituality is a “hot button” issue in counseling or therapy, it is a complex topic that involves personal beliefs, interpretations, and the potential impact on the client/patient experience.

Understanding Negative Self-Talk

Negative thinking or as some call it, negative self-talk, “stinkin’ thinkin’,” is an all too common threat to individuals with a substance use disorder. Such thinking can seriously jeopardize the ability to change one’s substance using behavior by sabotaging change efforts with doubts about one’s ability to change and the resulting fear of failure. Counselors employing Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) can teach clients whose negative self-talk presents roadblocks to change by helping them identify and then dismantle these barriers.

 

Albert Ellis, the founder of REBT, developed the “A-B-C” approach to counseling individuals whose negative self-talk impedes their movement towards desired change goals. In this approach to cognitive behavior therapy (CBT), the “A” stands for an activating event that precedes some consequence like a negative emotion or untoward behavior, the “C” in this model. The “B” represents the belief one holds and uses to interpret this activating event (A) that results in the consequence (C). The beauty of this model is its simplicity in pointing out that it is not the event that causes one’s emotional upset but what one tells oneself about the event that is the source of the distress.

In short, the model moves the focus of change from an external locus of control—something over which the client has no control—to an internal locus of control where the likelihood of change is something the client can affect. Once aware of the “A” interpreted by “B” results in “C” view of negative emotions, clients can then dispute, what Ellis referred to as “D” in his model, these irrational beliefs and replace them with new effective rational beliefs, “E” in his model. 

 

Teaching clients to challenge irrational beliefs can involve a variety of techniques and strategies. One of which is cognitive restructuring. This is a therapeutic technique used to challenge and change irrational or negative thought patterns. It involves identifying and examining the underlying beliefs and assumptions that contribute to these thoughts and replacing them with more rational and positive ones. This process often involves questioning the evidence and logic behind the irrational beliefs and finding alternative, more realistic interpretations of the situation when the belief fails to stand up to such scrutiny. It aims to help individuals develop healthier and more adaptive ways of thinking, which can lead to improved emotional well-being and behavior.

 

Let's say someone holds the belief that they are a failure because they made a mistake at work. They believe this causes them to feel anxious and depressed. Through cognitive restructuring, they can challenge and replace this irrational belief with a more rational and helpful one.

First, they would identify the negative thought or belief, which in this case is “I am a failure.” Then, they would examine the evidence for and against this belief. They might realize that they have had many successes in their career and that this one mistake does not define their entire worth or competence.

 

Next, they would generate alternative, more rational thoughts or beliefs. For example, they could replace “I am a failure” with “I made a mistake, but I am capable and have learned from it. I can improve and do better in the future.”

 

Finally, they would practice and reinforce these new thoughts or beliefs through repetition and positive self-talk. Over time, this cognitive restructuring process can help them develop a more balanced and realistic perspective, leading to improved emotional well-being.

 

Another useful technique for disputing irrational beliefs is the “downward arrow technique,” sometimes called the vertical interviewing technique. This technique is a cognitive therapy technique used to identify and challenge irrational beliefs. Although developed for use in Beck’s Cognitive Therapy, it is equally useful when employing Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). It involves asking a series of “why” questions to explore the underlying beliefs and assumptions that lead to negative thoughts or behaviors. Some thoughts on employing this technique include:

 

·      Identify a negative thought or behavior: Start by identifying a negative thought or behavior that you want to explore further. It could be something like “I'm not good enough” or “I always mess things up.”

·      Ask “why” questions: Once you have identified the negative thought or behavior, ask yourself why you believe it or why you engage in that behavior. For example, if your negative thought is “I'm not good enough,” you might ask yourself, “Why do I believe that?” or “Why do I think I'm not good enough?”

·      Explore underlying beliefs: As you ask yourself these “why” questions, pay attention to the underlying beliefs and assumptions that come up. Often deeply ingrained, these beliefs may not be immediately obvious. For example, you might uncover beliefs like “I have to be perfect to be worthy” or “I'm not lovable unless I achieve certain things.”

·      Challenge the beliefs: Once you have identified the underlying beliefs, challenge them by asking yourself if they are rational or if there is evidence to support them. For example, if your belief is “I have to be perfect to be worthy,” ask yourself if that belief is realistic or if there are examples in your life where you have felt worthy despite not being perfect.

·      NOTE: Uncover or “exposing” underlying or “core beliefs” that give rise to negative self-talk may require several successive questions such as: “and if this is true, what does that mean?” or “and your proof of this is?” Such questions often generate yet additional beliefs to which additional “why” questions or others as just cited can ultimately result in identifying one or two “core beliefs.” These core beliefs, like those noted in the previous bullet, tend to generate all the negative self-talk reported by clients. Identifying and then effectively disputing them can result in significant improvements for your client.

·      Replace with rational beliefs: Finally, replace the irrational beliefs with more rational and positive ones. For example, if your belief is “I have to be perfect to be worthy,” you could replace it with “I am worthy just as I am, flaws and all” or, “I may not be perfect but when I am not, I learn from my mistakes.”

 

Remember, the downward arrow technique is a tool to help you identify and challenge irrational beliefs. It may take time and practice to fully uncover and dispute these beliefs, but it can be a powerful tool for personal growth and self-improvement.

 

As noted above, there are many techniques and strategies used by cognitively oriented practitioners when assisting clients. Many of these are particularly useful when working with individuals with a substance use disorder. For mor on cognitive techniques and resources, visit https://positivepsychology.com/cbt-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-techniques-worksheets/

Stress is something with which we are all familiar. Frequently viewed as negative, experiencing stress suggests that things are out of balance, that something is wrong. However, stress exists on a continuum that extends from good stress or “eustress” as professionals call it to distress or“bad” stress. It is the distress that gets the press as well as falsely implies that ALL stress is bad stress. 

If we did not regularly experience eustress, however, our minds and bodies would atrophy. It is the stress of exercise that develops our muscles and coordination. It is the stress associated with addressing a challenging situation that results in learning and problem-solving. So, when considering limiting the stress in one’s life we are talking about the challenge of addressing the distress in one’s life, therefore, let’s look at the sources of distress and possible approaches to dealing with them.  

The first step in controlling distress is recognizing its emotional signals – sensing fear, frustration, anger, anxiety, or grief. Although common emotions, the triggers for each may differ among diverse individuals. This is due to the unique brand of self-talk[1]or internal dialogue that everyone entertains when experiencing a given set of conditions. For example, three friends encounter the same loud and obnoxious individual yet one becomes angry while others experience fear, and a third is simply frustrated. However, irrespective of which emotional signal is present for a given individual, they all represent the presence of emotional energy. 

Emotional energy, like other forms of energy we learned about in high school science, can be (1) conserved, (2) transferred, or (3)transformed. Conserving it simply means holding it in or “bottling it up. ”Transferring it involves venting. But neither of these efforts does anything to proactively address the situational trigger and stress, perhaps distress, results. Transforming this charged or negative emotional energy is the best option as it involves a creative and therefore proactive step – making the negative energy the fuel that drives positive change. For example, turns anxiety into anticipation or excitement about an opportunity. Frustration becomes learning how to better approach a difficult person or situation. Anger transforms into the motivation to make changes. Fear converts to a challenge to think “outside the box” as a way to face adversity. Grief, especially sadness or loneliness, changes to reverence as in Dr. Seuss’s famous quote, don’t cry because it’s over; smile because it happened.  

Familiarity with these emotional signals is vital to the self-awareness needed for this transformation to occur. It is this transformation of emotional energy that documents the existence of personal control and it is this that empowers one to act on stressful situations rather than react to them. Like a car careening down a winding mountain road when its brakes fail, it is the one in the driver’s seat who determines what happens next. 

 [1]Self-talk, especially negative self-talk is an interesting topic in and of itself, but not the focus of this essay. 

Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign...

Thoughts on recognizing signal emotions

The refrain for The Five Man Electric Band’s 1971 song “Signs” goes:

Sign, sign

Everywhere a sign

Blockin’ out the scenery

Breakin’ my mind

Do this, don’t do that

Can’t you read the sign?

Recognizing the significance of the social and cultural signs we encounter daily is an essential—if not the quintessential—part of contemporary life. One symptom of someone on the autism spectrum is difficulty recognizing these signs and social situations in general – think Sheldon on The Big Bang. But unlike Sheldon whose difficulty recognizing these signs indicates a neurological disorder, we often fail to recognize how much they affect our relationship with others. Fortunately, just as spoken language develops through our interaction with native speakers, so does our ability to appreciate the significance of these social cues and, albeit unconsciously, enable us to interpret them and function socially.

 

As these social cues or signals enable us to navigate our external social environment, there are internal, emotional cues or signals that affect our mood, behavior, and, as a result, the way we feel and act. Recognizing these signal emotions, especially those we view as “negative,” is an important step in minimizing stress and, in general, preserving a neutral if not a positive outlook on life.

 

Appreciating that these signals, “hot-button” emotions if you will, have the potential to skew our outlook negatively is important in maintaining a positive outlook. By knowing the emotional triggers of negativity, it is possible to develop a plan to minimize stress. So, what are these “hot-button” emotions? In no order of significance, they are:

 

·      Fear

·      Frustration

·      Anger

·      Anxiety

·      Grief

 

Often, we’re taught from childhood to ignore, minimize, or simply let go of, a.k.a. deny these “feelings.” However, doing so, especially on a consistent basis, can fuel behavioral reactions that result in behavior we later regret. Like a liquid under heat in a sealed container, pressure builds until experiencing an uncontrolled release of that energy.

 

In high school physics, we learn that energy is neither created nor destroyed, only conserved, transferred, or transformed. Likewise, we can say the same of emotional energy as well. “Conserving” this energy results in holding it in by suppressing it, which can produce potential physical consequences such as high blood pressure, insomnia, and substance use, not to mention the likelihood of verbal and/or behavioral outbursts. To transfer this emotional energy involves emoting or “venting” but this simply moves it from one place—me, to another—you, and does nothing to address its source.

 

Transforming emotional energy may be the only true “practical means” by which to address this emotional energy associated with these hot-button issues. This involves a creative, more proactive step. In short, a move that “transforms” the negative energy associated with these emotions into a type of fuel that enables the conversion of fear into a challenge, frustration into learning, anger into motivation, anxiety into anticipation, and grief into reverence.

 

For example, the fear I feel as the result of a mistake I made becomes a challenge to identify how to avoid repeating it in the future if not resolve its consequences in the present. My frustration about having to deal once again with an obstinate “other” becomes an opportunity to learn a new approach or strategy for dealing with such individuals. The anger felt because things did not go the way I hoped becomes the motivation to “think outside the box” for a different solution. My anxiety about making a presentation to executives becomes an anticipation of sharing my ideas with those who can appreciate them. And my grief on losing my close friend becomes, as Dr. Seuss said, not a reason to cry because it’s over but an opportunity to smile because it happened.

 

Self-awareness allows us to transform hot-button emotions. This act of conversion is evidence of personal control. And maintaining a sense of personal control in high-stress or emotionally charged situations becomes a safety valve that encourages acting on rather than reacting to whatever life happens to pass our way.

 

We all know what we learn and learn what’s taught, but it is important to remember that that’s not all there is to be known.

What do you think?

The Long and Winding Road

We live in a world where instant gratification appears the norm -- next-day delivery of online orders, frustration when text messages go unanswered within minutes, irritation when having to wait for an appointment to repair an appliance or see the doctor.

When things or events happen as we think they should, we are satisfied…content…we are happy; when they don’t, our emotional response ranges from disappointment to anger, as if some external event somehow rides herd over our emotional state. We live in a time when how we feel seems somehow controlled by circumstances beyond our power, as if puppets on a string with fate the marionette. But is this true?

Epictetus, an ancient Greek stoic philosopher, wrote that there is only one way to happiness: to cease worrying about things beyond our control. But what is under our control? Our thoughts, our beliefs, and our actions…for “things” are not always what they appear to be:

There once was a farmer who owned a horse and lived in ancient China with his family. His neighbors said how lucky he was to have such a fine horse to pull his plow through the fields.

The farmer said, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”

One day the horse broke through the gate and ran away. His neighbors came around to lament his terrible loss, saying it was a terrible bit of bad luck.

The farmer said, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”

Days later the horse returned to the farm along with seven wild horses. His neighbors came around to exclaim his remarkable good fortune, saying, “Now you are rich!”

The farmer said, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”

A few weeks later the farmer’s son was training the new wild horses and fell off and broke his leg. The neighbors came around to commiserate his misfortune and said, “What bad luck!”

The farmer replied, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”

The next week the army came around taking all the able-bodied young men from the village to fight in the war. The farmer’s son with the broken leg was left behind. The neighbors now lamented the loss of their sons and commented on how lucky the farmer was to have his son. 

And so the story goes on…

Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor, and stoic philosopher once said, if you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.

There is no way to happiness; happiness is the way[2], and as The Beatles sang, the way is “a long and winding road.”

 The Story of the Chinese Farmer – a fable widely circulated online

[2] Wayne Dyer

Thoughts on Responding to Client Resistance

Counseling with individuals who have a diagnosis of a substance use disorder often finds one faced with
challenging client situations. Frequently, such challenges manifest themselves in an assortment of client comments, three examples of which are: (1) “how can you help me if you’re not an addict”; (2) “when I have to come to this group all of the time and hear about drugs it makes me want to use” and (3) “how does anyone expect me to get ahead when coming here takes time away from my job and my family.”

 

Let me address these one at a time:

 

1.    “how can you help me if you’re not an addict”

 

I found that reminding myself that someone in a pre-contemplative stage of readiness to change will use any obvious difference between us to rationalize a lack of willingness to engage. Whether the client truly believes this difference matters or is just using it to resist engagement, in that client's eyes the absence of a counselor’s dependence on the client’s drug of choice casts practitioners as incapable of understanding their situation...a true "us and them" situation in the client's eyes.

 

Knowing this and understanding that such statements are not so much resistance born of hostility but rather an effort to maintain some degree of control in what to this point feels like manipulation by “the system,” allows us to “act on” a client’s objection to our ability to make a difference rather than “react to it,” or to use Miller's terminology, “dance with the client” rather than wrestle. It is important to mention here that this could just as easily be a client who questions our ability to help because of the difference in our ages, genders, sexual orientation, race, etcetera. Our clients often feel “trapped” and as a result, resort to any means available to maintain some degree of control over their situation, even if that is to control the counseling agenda by pointing out how “we are different.”

 

To argue with clients about why we can help only places them in the position of control as they direct the focus of the session. The more we argue or attempt to convince them that they are wrong, the more they retain the high ground in this exchange.

 

What I did when faced with a situation like this, not being in recovery -- or being male, too old, straight, white, or whatever -- was to agree with my client: You are right. I am not addicted (or male or white or whatever) and there are parts of being addicted (a woman, black, gay, or whatever) I probably cannot understand or relate to. But, I have attended “X" AA/NA meetings and listened to the stories of countless addicts and have worked with substance dependent individuals for "Y" years and listened to their stories too and have come to an understanding of addition that I think can help me to be of help to you. NOTE: Practitioners need to translate this type of response into their own words :)

 

If the client came back and said something like, That's bullshit. I don't care how many of those meetings you went to, those people are not like me and you can't possibly know anything about me that can help! I would again, respond by agreeing with the client: Perhaps you are right and maybe hearing hundreds of stories by people addicted to alcohol or other drugs doesn't prepare me to know exactly what you have been through but if you have ever been angry, felt betrayed, were insulted, disrespected, paralyzed by fear or anxiety, or taken advantage of or ignored, I have experienced all those things, personally. I may not know what it is like to go through a withdrawal from (client's drug of choice) but I do know what it is like to deal with the crap (depending on the client and my read of that client I might use expletives) that life can throw at us. NOTE: Employ a matter-of-fact voice and NOT one that sounds angry or aggressive.

 

I would then change the subject since continuing the discussion risks it starting to feel like an argument. 

 

Changing the subject to something non-threatening but nonetheless appropriate for a counseling session allows us to regain control of the session. This “something” to which we shift the focus can be almost anything, just not anything that suggests “a problem.” Examples include:

·      Tell me something about what you expected these sessions would be like before coming.

·      I know from the paperwork that came with you why the folks that referred you want you to be here, but why do you think you are here?

·      Even though you doubt that I can understand your situation seeing that I am not an addict, what could result in you leaving this session today thinking that, “that wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be”?

·      Assuming for a minute that something useful could come out of coming here, what might that be?

 

NOTE: Make sure your question is open-ended otherwise you will likely just get “yes” or “not” answers at best.

 

2.     “when I have to come to this group all of the time and hear about drugs it makes me want to use.”

 

This is another common point raised by clients, although more often by someone in a contemplative stage of readiness to change.

 

As in the previous situation, statements like this may come from clients who try to rationalize their belief that “coming here” is not helpful and therefore a waste of time. It is also possible that a statement like this can come from clients who believe they have “dealt with their drug issue” and now just need to fix everything else in their life without the constant reminder of “back then.”

 

Again, starting a reply by agreeing with the client is likely to signal understanding and a willingness to listen while at the same time earning the opportunity to challenge this rationalization without appearing to argue: (This assumes that facilitators do not allow the group to focus on the joys of drug use) I can appreciate that talking about drug and drug use in the group does place your use front and center, but how does discussing the costs and consequences of using drugs result in your “wanting to use?”

 

A client might reply with something like, Well, all I can think about when all we do is talk about drugs and using them is that that has been such a big part of my life for so long that it’s all I know. Even when others are talking about their problems all I think about is, “I’m not like them. I’m different and I can control this.” I know dealing with this is hard but coming here and sitting in those drug groups makes it harder. Notice how such a reply to your question allows more of the client’s story to come out, which provides additional “grist for the counseling mill.”

 

Now, I have no idea how an individual client would respond to a counselor’s reply of, “group makes me want to do drugs.” I suspect that in the scenario I outline here, the counselor could come back with reflective listening…not a retort or follow-up question: Hearing others discuss their drug use in a group makes you wonder if your drug use will ever change. NOTE: This is a statement and NOT a question.

 

I could extend this hypothetical dialogue on for several exchanges but my point here is that whether the client is trying to rationalize leaving or is genuinely concerned about how the group threatens his making any type of progress, the issue is not so much “the group” as it is the what the client is telling himself about the group…it’s a waste of time/bullshit…or it is a threat to me. Keeping the client, not the group, as the focus is one way to address such client challenges.

 

3.    “how does anyone expect me to get ahead when coming here takes time away from my job and my family.” 

 

Traditionally, addictions counselors would see such a statement as resistance to treatment if not indicative of denial and respond with, …and how much time did you spend with your family when using and how did that use affect your attendance and job performance? Such a reply is confrontational and draws a line in the sand and sets up an adversarial relationship between the client and counselor.

 

Another approach, one more in line with M.I. in general and the spirit of M.I. specifically, is to respond to such a statement with reflective listening to elicit more of the client’s story and what is the real hidden meaning in this statement. For example:

 

·      Coming here is frustrating because it is a waste of your time. NOTE: There is no question mark at the end, meaning that this is NOT a question but a statement…a reflection.

o   Although clients may reply, “Yes, that’s right,” compliant clients might say something like, “it’s not so much a waste of time as it’s time I could be using to fix things at home/on the job.”

o   If they respond, “yes that’s right” a counselor could respond, A waste of time? And then process however the client responds, keeping the focus on the client and not the ‘time in group.’

o   If they respond, “it’s not so much a waste of time, it’s that they were mad when I using and now they are mad because I am going to group and those meetings”[1] a counselor could respond:

§  (Reflection) It’s not that the group is a waste of time as much as your family and job don’t understand the need for all this counseling. OR

§  (Summery) O.K., let me see if I understand: if you did not have to attend group you would have “X” hours more time each week with your family and to focus on your job. What would you do with those “X” hours that could improve things at home and on the job? OR

§   (Reflection) You’re caught between the rock and a hard place and feel trapped…by what your family wants on the one hand and what we here in the program are recommending on the other.

 

These client situations are typical of what counselors treating SUDs face routinely. That said, no matter how a counselor responds to such client comments, different clients will react differently. My point is that there are 2 simultaneous objectives for the counselor who faces such situations:

 

·      Such client comments come more from individuals who feel trapped or at least somewhat impotent and have lost control over their lives, and

·      A counselor who realizes this is better prepared to “act on” rather than “react to” these types of client situations.

 

If I view my work with an individual with a SUD as not so much a contest to win but a relationship to forge, I increase the likelihood of engaging my client in an eventual consideration of making a change, especially if viewing that client as a person first and the client second. Try as I will, however, on my best day I can only help the individuals with whom I work I cannot save them…I may be able to influence their behavior, but I cannot control it.

 

What do you think?

Robert

 

 

 

---

[1] Notice how such a client response to the counselor’s reflective comment elicits more of the client’s story…and what is really going on in the client’s original statement

Kanter's Law and Change

January 21^st marks the start of the 3^rd week of the new year, a time when commitments to stick with that New Year’s resolution to make personal changes starts to flag. What began with the best of intentions on January 1 tends to become onerous, and burdensome to the point of questioning the appropriateness of continuing the pursuit of that targeted modification of personal behavior.

 

There are psychological factors that explain this feeling and the discouraging negative self-talk that sustains it…I can’t do this; This is stupid; This just feels wrong; What was I thinking. James Prochaska from the University of Rhode Island spoke about the “stages of readiness to change” and how if one attempts a radical behavioral change before truly ready to make that change, even if sincerely desiring it, I will falter and fail, A.K.A., relapse.

 

As this is not an essay about “how to change,” I do not explore ending habits here. NOTE: If interested in learning more about successful behavior change, click on Self-Directed Behavior Change to read a short book I have written on the topic. Rather, this essay looks at that sense of “lost commitment” to pursuing that New Year’s resolution.

 

Kanter’s Law states that, everything looks like a failure in the middle. Rosabeth Moss Kanter is a professor

in the Harvard School of Business who writes about the sabotaging of the enthusiasm and optimism felt at the start of a project by the hard work required to realize success. She suggests that this sense that accomplishing one’s objective is beyond reach is common, especially when the initial enthusiasm and optimism wane when encountering the effort required to see it through “in the middle.”

 

Like the meaning in the adage, it’s always darkest before the dawn, Kanter’s Law reminds us that success with a project or when making a change in personal behavior has less to do with one’s level of effort or skill than with patience and persistence. My grandfather used to tell me that the secret to success in any undertaking in life is “remember the 3-Ps”: patience, persistence, and perseverance.

 

So as the enthusiasm and optimism the New Year bring to change plans and resolutions to pursue them wanes, remember Kanter’s Law…or at least my grandfathers' admonishment…and as we used to say in the 60s, keep on truckin’!